Nadia Lawand who attended our latest session on marriage in preparation to her union with the other half of the web-site Jason Bolanis…..they are really a virtual reality couple! In any case, said she, put something on my BLOG on the subject. Having been there and done that for close to 50 years, I might have some advise. WAIT! No, just be ready, spiritually, emotionally,and above OH BOY! On marriage:all BE REALLY IN LOVE…..NOT IN LUST. A cliché, guess…but I have celebrated countless weddings where there was great sex but no intimacy. The earth can move but do the souls unite? I have suggested mutual prayer together, and some even chuckle..ha! Ha! Me pray and for her!? Oh, well such emptiness. I think that couples need to move together ….in the rhythm of their souls and hearts through worship and mutual prayer. An Odd idea, huh,,,Guarantee everyone is “praying” that the economy gets better or the weather will permit skiing this weekend…so why not for one another…thanking God for this special relationship. Orthodox weddings are rich in rituals but have more real depth in the meaning of the actual ceremony…all of which is participation in the love of God that flows from the communion of the Holy Trinity……who crowns and
consecrates the relationship into a union…..which flows from the Ultimate Union of the Godhead. Flowers do not make a wedding, nor the fluff on the wedding,day nor exuberance of the festivities afterwards……this is only a prelude, that cost lots of $s. What is important is the idea, that God enters the lives of the couple through the power of the holy Spirit. If some are already at the physical level and not married, I suggest ” provisional celibacy” to have something special on your day….after this is the “Day that the Lord “has made”….There are no accidents….there are reason that you have been brought together, dig deep in your hearts and finds that center, that core…and unfold it to one another. One last word…..no material object nor the pursuit of
external wealth will ever replace the richness that is discovered within one another! “The pearl of Great Price, Christ.”
You bring up a very interesting point about praying for one another. It seems very strange for couples to do this in this day and age. Let’s face it, when things go well in our every day lives, Jesus tends to become very small and not important. In regards to your statement about couples whom already have consumated their marriages, and that you suggest celebacy until your married, deffinitly a possibility. An extremly hard choice, but can come with a great reward.
Let’s face it, when it comes to this topic, and the two people live together as my fiance and myself do, your options become limited. You can say move back to her parents…well, you know what happens then. She’ll come over and by the time it’s time to go, you both have gotten really comfortable, and I personally would not kick her out. Then their is weekends. So to me that option is out.
The other option that was presented was to get married either civily or in private, then have a ceremony of sorts at a later point in time. Let’s face it. Most families that grew up in a Catholic backround would most likly go balistic. Not to mention that doing this will take away from the joy of that blessed day.
To remain celebate, is one the most ultimate struggles that a human will have with their fleshly desires. To deny self and submit to His soverign will, is not an easy task. This is the route that my fiance and myself have chosen at this point in time. There have been struggles on a daily basis, and we both recognize that we cannot do this on our own efforts. We need Christ. Prayer is also a must have. When tempted, we are attempting to stop and pray out loud, but lust of the flesh can be overwhelming.
Hello…I have had recently, Jason, several couples in your situation..one of them a rock star……… and although they lived together, they did so without sex. Sex is the ultimate expression of the union of two persons and to wait until married, of course is a struggle. But imagine, how wonderful will be that moment when the two of you are married and are joined together, spiritually and physically. Yes, it is a struggle, which is why, Christ in prayer can empower us to do so many impossible things…because everything as ST. Paul tells us is possible with Christ… also, do you ave a spiritual father to speak to…to help release the frustration? A good question…one need support! God be with you my friend..we are in this together…..AG